NEW YEAR’s RESOLUTION

NEW YEAR’s RESOLUTION

It is a new year with new challenges, new hopes and heads filled with dreams. Many people
experience this as a time of starting over – new patterns of thoughts, new waves of
emotions, new connections to the world and a new belief in MYSELF.

But alas, so many of these fledgling ideas never hatch or learn to fly and before we know it
it’s February and we are caught up in Valentine’s planning or avoidance?! This then is
usually also the time when others start asking us about our new year’s resolutions “I thought
you said…”, and “Weren’t you supposed to already….” Well if you are anything like me this
then is the time that you start to really be sorry for telling anyone of your new year’s plans.
But is it so wrong? What happens to these dreams? Why are they so difficult to reach?
We will probably never really know but what does seem to be an important influencing factor
is the ancient question of “Do I tell someone or not?”

Why to tell

Telling your support system like your family and friends about your personal goals will inspire you to complete your goal/s. Having the support system set up is a motivating tool to succeed. For instance, a person wants to quit smoking so the person tells family and friends that quitting is a goal with a set date. The support system that was informed of the goal will most likely remind that person that quitting is a goal whenever they see that person smoking.
Without telling anyone about the goal it would be very easy to just forget it and not feel any guilt for failing. With the support system in place that person will feel a greater satisfaction or completing it by receiving praise and motivation from them.

Accountability is a measure of your “stick-to- it-ness”. So, if you bring other people in on your goal picture, you can be surer that your overall involvement in that project will be considerably higher. 

Every time you tell the world about some of your goals, you modify them. You take something from a discussion, something from another one, until, out of this ping-pong game of sharing your plans back and forth, your goal will emerge in a new form. Most of the time, this form will be a much clearer one. In fact, many of our goals are shaped by our interactions, by our conversations or by our encounters. So, the more we are out there, sharing our visions and implementing our plans, the more those visions and plans are getting clearer, bigger and more structured.

Talking about a goal and finding someone with the same preferences and ideas can bring people together, and a team can be more efficient when it comes to reaching a goal. I think this is a huge benefit and having a shared vision with someone else is a great thing.

Why not to tell

Studies have shown that when people tell others about their goals they tend to feel that they have already achieved a part of the goal. The result of this is often demotivation. Once you tell your friends about your goal and they start to praise you for it you will experience a sense of achievement, even though you did nothing. This sense of achievement is experienced because those people will see your new future identity even though it is not yet acquired by you. As a result, you will feel that part of the goal is already completed and you will become less motivated to achieve it.

People can put you down as soon as they know that you are about to do something that they did not do before. Even if you were motivated your mind might get programmed by others’ negativism and you might find yourself demotivated just because you discussed your goals with some of your friends. Do not underestimate the effect of subconscious mind programming especially if the programming was coming from a trusted source. If one of the people you believe in tried to put you down, then you might lose motivation as a result.

One of the facts many people are not aware of is it that jealousy does not know anything about friendship or blood connection. The closest person ever to you can become jealous of your achievements or even your future goals if you sounded serious enough. In short, the dangers of stating your goals to others are big and it is much better to keep your goals to yourself unless you really trust the person you are sharing your goals with.

  • Share your goals, but be selective about who you share your goals with. I am of the opinion that an important person to share your goals with might be the person who already reached what you would like to reach.
  • Know yourself – everybody’s personality characteristics are different. Some people can motive themselves and others do better with external motivation.
  • Be a doer not just a talker. It is one thing to tell others about your goals, but another to be the ‘more talk than action’ type of person.