Bullying!

Bullying is not a modern-day problem unique to South Africa or the current youth of today.  It is a tale as old as time.  I think of books like Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens 1838) and Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling 1997) where we read how the main characters were bullied and mistreated.  My English101 prescribed book at University, Lord of the Flies, describes a group of children’s descent into barbarism when left unsupervised by an adult.  The theme of every fairy tale ever told is of how “good” defeated “evil”, evil being a bully manifesting in different characters like witches, stepmothers, predators, etc.  And the list goes on…….

Bullying has always been an omnipresent phenomenon.  However, the general attitude of people towards bullying in the past caused bullying to be seen and interpreted as a “rite of passage”.  Only in recent years have professionals, such as lawyers and educators, realized that bullying is a form of abuse.  The fact that bullying has only been labelled a problem in the last 30 to 40 years makes it difficult to trace the roots.

Bullying in schools is a global epidemic that has the potential to impact on children not only physically but also psychologically.  In South Africa countless children fall victim to bullying, harassment and abuse in our schools. 

Like Bullies in Fairy Tales, bullying can come in many shapes and sizes:

Social bullying includes:

  • Lying and spreading rumors
  • Negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
  • Playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  • Mimicking unkindly
  • Encouraging others to socially exclude someone
  • Damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance

Cyber bullying can include:

  • Abusive or hurtful texts, emails, posts, images or videos
  • Deliberately excluding others online
  • Nasty gossip or rumors
  • Imitating others online or using their log-in details to gain access to private information

The different forms of bullying often overlap, and a person can experience several kinds of bullying at the same time.

Bullying does not occur in a vacuum.  Personal factors as well as what children observe around them (see, hear and experience) influence their use of violent or harmful behavior.

Bullying is in many ways a learned behavior.  Children who see other young people or adults using, overlooking or excusing violence learn that violence is acceptable and an appropriate way of resolving problems.  Without positive role models to illustrate alternative ways of behaving, they are unlikely to develop the knowledge and skills needed to maintain good, healthy relationships with others.  Children who are taught that violence is unacceptable, on the other hand, are less likely to bully, especially if they are equipped with alternatives.

During the next few months I will be writing more on this topic, giving advice on how to deal with this epidemic and empower our youth to cope better in their situation.