Bullying!

Picture of Gerda McLachlan

Gerda McLachlan

Big Ugly Loner Loser Yearning Attention.

Bullying is not a modern-day problem unique to South Africa or the current youth of today.  It is a tale as old as time.  I think of books like Oliver Twist (Charles Dickens 1838) and Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling 1997) where we read how the main characters were bullied and mistreated.  My English101 prescribed book at University, Lord of the Flies, describes a group of children’s descent into barbarism when left unsupervised by an adult.  The theme of every fairy tale ever told is of how “good” defeated “evil”, evil being a bully manifesting in different characters like witches, stepmothers, predators, etc.  And the list goes on…….

Bullying has always been an omnipresent phenomenon.  However, the general attitude of people towards bullying in the past caused bullying to be seen and interpreted as a “rite of passage”.  Only in recent years have professionals, such as lawyers and educators, realized that bullying is a form of abuse.  The fact that bullying has only been labelled a problem in the last 30 to 40 years makes it difficult to trace the roots.

Bullying in schools is a global epidemic that has the potential to impact on children not only physically but also psychologically.  In South Africa countless children fall victim to bullying, harassment and abuse in our schools. 

Like Bullies in Fairy Tales, bullying can come in many shapes and sizes:

Physical Bullying

Hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching, pushing and damaging (or stealing) property. This type of bullying causes both short- and long term damage.

Verbal bullying

Name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic remarks, racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off as being harmless, it can escalate to levels which affect the individual target negatively.

Non-verbal bullying

Writing hurtful messages, letters or graffiti, or distributing pictures and videos that hurt someone or damage their reputation.

Sexual bullying

Passing inappropriate notes, jokes, pictures, taunts or starting rumors of a sexual nature. It can also involve uninvited touching and forced sexual behavior.

Social Bullying

This type of bullying is often harder to recognize and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed to harm someone's social reputation and / or cause humiliation
covert bullying

Social bullying includes:

  • Lying and spreading rumors
  • Negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
  • Playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  • Mimicking unkindly
  • Encouraging others to socially exclude someone
  • Damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance

Cyber bullying can include:

  • Abusive or hurtful texts, emails, posts, images or videos
  • Deliberately excluding others online
  • Nasty gossip or rumors
  • Imitating others online or using their log-in details to gain access to private information

The different forms of bullying often overlap, and a person can experience several kinds of bullying at the same time.

Cyber Bullying

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviors. It uses digital technologies, including hardware (such as computers and smartphones), and software (such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms). Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person doing the bullying.
digital bullying

Bullying does not occur in a vacuum.  Personal factors as well as what children observe around them (see, hear and experience) influence their use of violent or harmful behavior.

Five different environmental spheres children’s behavior:

School level

Schools play a key role in socializing children. School policies, and the way schools respond to bullying and other types of violence, can discourage or encourage violent behavior. Children in schools that ignore bullying or where educators use corporal punishment are more likely to bully, while children in schools that take a strong position on bullying are less likely to bully.

Interpersonal level

Children’s behavior is also influenced by the behavior and attitudes of the people they interact with, including family members and friends. Children with social networks that encourage aggressive behavior or view violence as acceptable are more likely to use violence against others.

Individual level

Children’s behavior is influenced by their people skills, and whether or not they have the knowledge and skills needed to engage positively with others.

Policy level

The policy environment can play a key role in reducing violent behavior by helping to protect children from violence and promote alternative models of behavior in children’s lives. For example: South Africa has banned corporal punishment, while the South African Schools Act aims to help create a school environment that encourages learning and protects the rights of educators and learners.

Community level

Children model the behavior they see amongst other adults in their environment, including community leaders and neighbors. Children who see and experience violence in their communities are more likely to be violent and aggressive

Helping you think  feel be better.

Bullying is in many ways a learned behavior.  Children who see other young people or adults using, overlooking or excusing violence learn that violence is acceptable and an appropriate way of resolving problems.  Without positive role models to illustrate alternative ways of behaving, they are unlikely to develop the knowledge and skills needed to maintain good, healthy relationships with others.  Children who are taught that violence is unacceptable, on the other hand, are less likely to bully, especially if they are equipped with alternatives.

During the next few months I will be writing more on this topic, giving advice on how to deal with this epidemic and empower our youth to cope better in their situation.