Victor Frankl realised the above during his survival ordeal in the Second World War. He survived 4 death camps and lost all of what most of us deem important defining criteria of the “self”, such as worldly goods, loved ones, social standing, independence etc. The “self” can be described as the identity we’ve created for ourselves. This identity exists solely within our own mind and we regard it to be implicitly true. It contains a past, a present and a future – a full character profile – along with a plot and a common narrative that weaves throughout everything you do. It contains a certain set of standards you’ve created which you define yourself by – a checklist of ethics, attributes, behaviours and morality – it’s your very own unique code of conduct.
This concept of “self” is not static. It is affected by everything and everyone around us, as well as our internal mechanisms. Some days we may feel on top of the world, invincible – we’ve won the lotto kind of happy; while other days we feel and act like a wounded buffalo. This is normal human behaviour. The problem comes in when we get stuck in these emotive states and increasingly feel that our sense of the “self” is eroded or under attack. We are then left with a feeling of “Who am I?”. This often causes us to increasingly question our unique code of conduct. Gerda and I often hear this during our sessions where clients say: “I don’t know who I am anymore / It’s as if I’ve lost a part of my self / I don’t know anymore maybe I must just give up. It feels as if everything I’ve known and lived has been one big lie….”
The above is especially true after we experienced a traumatic event. The emotional toll from a traumatic event can cause intense, confusing, and frightening emotions. These emotions are not limited to the people who experienced the event. 24-hour news coverage means that we are bombarded with horrific images from natural disasters and violent crimes, almost the instant they occur anywhere in the world. Repeated exposure can trigger traumatic stress and leave you feeling hopeless and helpless. Whether you were directly involved in the traumatic event or exposed to it after the fact, there are steps you can take to recover your emotional equilibrium and regain control of your life.
Traumatic stress is a normal reaction to a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, motor vehicle accident, or a violent crime. Such events are extraordinarily stressful – not just for survivors, but also witnesses and even those repeatedly exposed to the horrific images of the traumatic event circulated on social media and news sources.
Living in South Africa with its current high levels of violence it is likely that any of us may be a direct victim of a violent crime or are regularly bombarded by disturbing images. Viewing these images over and over can overwhelm your nervous system and create traumatic stress. Your sense of security shatters, leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world, especially if the event was manmade, such as a hi-jacking, stabbing at a school or farm attack. It doesn’t matter whether you lived through the event itself, witnessed it in person, or experienced traumatic stress in the aftermath, there are many ways to calm your nervous system and regain your emotional balance. The first step is to recognize the warning signs of traumatic stress.
Whether or not the traumatic event directly impacted you, it’s normal to feel anxious, scared, and uncertain about what the future may hold. Your nervous system has become overwhelmed by stress, triggering a wide range of intense emotions and physical reactions. These reactions to traumatic stress often come and go in waves. There may be times when you feel jumpy and anxious, and other times when you feel disconnected and numb.
Other normal emotional responses to traumatic events include:
Normal physical responses to traumatic events
The physical symptoms of traumatic stress can include:
Usually, the unsettling thoughts and feelings of traumatic stress – as well as any unpleasant physical symptoms – start to fade as life returns to normal over the days or weeks following a traumatic event. However, it’s important to remember that people react in different ways to trauma.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to respond. We’re all different, so don’t tell yourself (or anyone else) what you should be thinking, feeling, or doing.
Avoid obsessively reliving the traumatic event. Repetitious thinking or viewing horrific images over and over can overwhelm your nervous system, making it harder to think clearly. Participate in activities that keep your mind occupied (read, watch a movie, cook, play with your kids), so you’re not dedicating all your energy and attention to the traumatic event.
Ignoring your feelings will slow recovery. It may seem better in the moment to avoid experiencing your emotions, but they exist whether you’re paying attention to them or not. Even intense feelings will pass if you simply allow yourself to feel what you feel.
Re-establish routine. There is comfort in the familiar. After a disaster, getting back – as much as possible – to your normal routine, will help you minimize traumatic stress, anxiety, and hopelessness. Even if your work or school routine is disrupted, you can structure your day with regular times for eating, sleeping, spending time with family, and relaxing.
Recognize when traumatic stress becomes PTSD. If your traumatic stress symptoms don’t ease up and your nervous system remains “stuck,” unable to move on from the event for a prolonged period of time, you may be experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
While symptoms of traumatic stress often naturally fade with time, the following tips can assist in the process and help you better come to terms with the traumatic experience.
Seek help if you recognise that you possibly are struggling with PTSD.
I would like to end with another of Frankl’s insights –